Struggles of a first-time mom

A muted episode of Jersey Shore plays on the television, unfolded laundry cover the bed, and empty baby bottles line the dresser in the bedroom of Aimee Hernandez. Sitting in her rocking chair, she soothes her two-month-old baby who has fussed for several minutes.

“Ya, mi amour, I know you’re sleepy,” Hernandez said, “Stop fighting it, just go to sleep!”

Aimee Hernandez’s life changed dramatically on February 10, when she gave birth to her first child, Jameson. At 24 years old, her vision of pregnancy and motherhood was clouded by the simplicity that exudes from social media and television. With no one to turn to for advice besides her mother, Aimee relied on mom blogs, vlogs, and detailed Google searches before and after birth. One month later, sleep deprivation, a colicky baby, and a boyfriend who works 65 hours a week has revealed that motherhood is not as joyous as it seems.

“Parenthood looks easier on social media,” said Hernandez, a first-time mom. “I usually post the cute videos and pictures, but any other time he’s crying or spitting up on me.”
             A regular day for her starts by waking up 10 minutes before Jameson around 7 a.m., feeding him, and giving him a quick bath. By then, her boyfriend, Alberto, heads out for work at his family’s restaurant, where he works from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Her mother, Reina, watches Jameson while Hernandez gets herself ready for the day. Aimee showers, eats, cleans dirty onesies, and scrolls through social media for the news and baby blogs on her phone to pass the time. Later in the evening, when she puts her son to bed for the night, Alberto returns. They eat dinner, get ready for bed, and prepares to do the same thing the next day.

“This routine is unfortunate for Alberto and me, because I’m scared he’ll miss important moments in Jameson’s life because of his crazy hours,” Hernandez said. “When my maternity leave is over in June, my house will be hectic. I might miss something doing long shifts.”

Before Jameson, Hernandez’s life consisted of hanging out after work, staying up late to  binge watch television, keeping up with the latest trends in makeup, enjoying a cold Stella Artois, going out on the weekends to clubs and traveling the West Coast with her boyfriend. Now, she’s on maternity leave for four months. She stays up late talking with Jameson, views makeup trends online, and has ditched beer and moved on to wine.

“Jameson has a routine for himself that he follows almost daily,” Hernandez said. “At certain times of the day, he’ll make a face, and I know that he either needs to be changed, or it’s time for me to take him to the park or in his swing. If you asked how I was doing a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been able to give you an answer because we were both getting used to each other.”

 Hernandez takes her time doing everything and is critical about items she choses to buy, a trait that has only intensified now that she became a mom. She stopped using certain bath, cleaning, and body products in fear it would cause defects, and she also drastically changed her diet because of the negative effects some processed foods have on babies in utero.

"I mentally bookmarked milestones and goals that should occur each month during my pregnancy," Hernandez said. "Now, I'm just going with the flow and figuring things out along the way. I still use baby blogs because sometimes Jameson does something I check to make sure it’s normal."

When Hernandez needs help off the screen, she turns to her mother, Reina, who she lives with and is eager to welcome new life into her home.

“I was ecstatic when she told me she was having a baby. He’s my first grandson, and he might be my only for a while,” Reina Hernandez said. “It makes me even more happy that he’s on the other side of the house and I can just go over there and see mi corazon and he always gets to be involved in our get-togethers. We always find a reason to go in the backyard to throw parties and barbeque. We get real Christmas trees every Christmas. We visit family in Mexico multiple times a year, and later this year I want to take him so he can go to the beach. I love that there’s baby in the house now who can be the center of attention! I want him to look back on his childhood and know that he was loved.”

Hernandez wants a safe and happy childhood for her child. Accepting her pregnancy did not come easy. Infertility and pregnancy complications looms over her family and the dark cloud had effected her reaction the entirety of her first trimester.

“When I found out, I felt bad because I had no attachment,” said Hernandez. “When the doctor told me I was having a boy, I finally felt attached. Like a mom-to-be. I think I was feeling that way because I wasn’t sure if I was doing a good job and I felt pressure from my family and my boyfriend’s family.”

When Hernandez think back to her pregnancy, she thinks most new moms experience the pressure from families and possibly the world to have a smooth and easy pregnancy which then transgress over to parenthood. She admits parenting can be tough and sometimes his cries make her want to cry, but it’s all apart of parenthood and it is worth it.

Hernandez struggled with acclimating with a new person in her home, but now, three months later, she finds the stage that she’s in to be easy. Having friends her age who also became first-time mothers helped her out as well. In a society where everything is blamed on millennials, including them not having enough children. Contrary to popular belief, Hernandez has at least seven other friends and family members to contact for first-time parent help. She wants to have only one child for now, so she has the opportunity to teach him their heritage without distractions.

“I want to raise a person that knows my struggles, their culture, their grandparents,” Hernandez said. “I want them to leave my footprint. That’s my gift to the world.”